The Algorithm Found Postpartum. Now can the System?

CONTENT NOTE: Discusses postpartum mental illness, suicidal ideation and intrusive thoughts.

This is a personal opinion piece informed by lived experience and advocacy, not a clinical perspective.

Postpartum mental health is having its moment.

Matrescence is entering everyday language.

Maternal mental health and postpartum psychosis are in the spotlight as court cases fill our news feeds.

The headlines are extreme, but amongst the shock and questions, some of us know the fear of where our own minds can go in periods of mental distress.

That’s uncomfortable to recognise, but maybe it’s something we need to pay attention to.

Suicide remains our leading cause of maternal death in Aotearoa, yet there’s so much between coping and crisis that still gets ignored.

As we remove shame and stigma, we’re hearing just how many of us have had a glimpse of the places our minds can go in postpartum.

Yet we still prepare for birth and baby, thinking “surely postpartum can’t be THAT bad”.

Until we’re fishing out that validating 3am lifeline just to know we're not alone in it.

Alongside normalising the conversation, we need to ask: Why are we still letting it get this far?

Awareness Has to lead somewhere

I've advocated for mental illness and suicide prevention for 15 years, back when this conversation was incredibly taboo.

For the last 6, I’ve spoken about maternal mental health, adding deeper training to my lived experience.

For the last 4, I've supported hundreds of postpartum families in their homes.

I know this conversation isn’t easy, and needs to be had safely and carefully.

But there’s something powerful about sharing lived experience in safe, respectful ways.

I believe awareness has a place here, alongside clinical and professional support, not instead of it.

I know my lane, and I know my perspective is only one small piece of a huge conversation.

But as a mum, advocate, matrescence practitioner and peer supporter who's building what I once needed,

I’m TIRED of awareness being mistaken for change.

I’ve watched the conversation around suicide shift from silence and stigma, to pushing boundaries just by saying the word, to making its way into everyday language.

Yet so little has changed systemically.

And that’s the part I’ve got some real beef with.

Care is not a trend

Yes. Give postpartum the airtime it deserves.
But let’s not mistake people talking for change.

As our stories get louder, research, systems and funding still fall so short.

We keep talking about the problem.
Without doing enough, if anything, about it.

Suicide prevention and maternal/paternal mental health are systemic and societal issues that need real investment and action, far beyond the algorithm.

Our parents and our babies deserve better.
They need better.

I haven’t just seen it. i’ve lived it.

My experience with mental health started long before motherhood.

After surviving a teen suicide attempt, I spent years in shame before recovering and finding my voice in writing and advocacy.

Going into postpartum, I knew to be mindful of my mental health. I had my recovery tool belt and thought I knew what to watch for and how to look after myself.

Those tools did help. They helped me recognise what was happening, speak up and seek support.

But amongst everything that came with becoming a mum with no village, I was still completely shocked by the places my mind went.

Postpartum brought thoughts of taking my own life.

Would my husband and son be okay without me?

What would that mean for my son?

The thought felt so unbearable that my mind suddenly jumped to taking him with me.

I never wanted or intended to act on those thoughts, and they didn’t make me a bad or dangerous mum.

They felt so far from me, but came from my own mind. And that was terrifying.

This wasn’t my first experience of mental distress. I knew I had to push past what my mind was telling me.

At the time, I stayed for them.
Now, I’m so glad I stayed for me, too. 
And for what staying has allowed me to do for others.

I can only imagine how frightening it would be for postpartum to be someone’s first experience of mental illness or distress.

It’s why I care about doing this work safely.

Every family enters postpartum with different tools, resources and support around them.
Support needs to meet that reality.
Without shame or judgement. 

I want to see real change in how we support families. Meeting them where they’re at, when they need it.

Before they have to fall through the cracks to prove they need help.

More Visible. still not supported.

Postpartum mental illness is becoming more visible, but it isn’t new.
We’re just finally paying attention.

I’m happy it's finally getting the airtime it deserves.
But I don’t want awareness to be the end result. I want it to lead somewhere.

We need real support. We need funding.
Before crisis. 

We need antenatal education that prepares for parenthood, not just birth.
We need pelvic floor care, mental health support and basic resources that are accessible, not luxuries - for everyone.

When we say everyone, we need to mean everyone.

We cannot talk about better support without talking about inequity when wāhine Māori experience maternal suicide at over three times the rate of NZ Europeans.

Support isn’t truly accessible if it isn’t culturally safe, respectful and shaped around the people and communities it serves.

We need “postpartum care” to mean more than  being told to “ask for help" and “self-care”.

For so many families, support simply means enough help to eat, rest, catch a breath and have their basic needs met, without having to fight for it.

Awareness is only the beginning

For all this conversation and awareness, we still send people home with a brand-new human,
treat support as optional, and reassure them that struggling is “normal”.

That it’s the baby blues.
That “You’ve got this, mama.”
To “Ask for help.”
Don’t forget - “Take time for self-care.”

Stop telling us we’ve got this.
Help us carry it.

Postpartum might be having a moment,
but support has to outlast the attention.

This needs to become something so much deeper than just an important conversation.

Something societal and systemic.

Something that changes.

Not just another f**king trend.

Author’s note

This Conversation is a lot right now.

I know this is a heavy share, and one I don’t make lightly.

If this conversation feels too much or too close to home, it’s okay to step away.

And if any of this feels familiar, you really are not alone. Even if your mind, like mine once did, tries to tell you otherwise.

Please reach out to someone you trust, your GP, midwife or health professional, or free call/text 1737 anytime.

If you need support and don’t know where to start, reach out. We can point you towards some great people.

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111.

A note on my lived experience.

My lived experience is of PPD and PPA, not postpartum psychosis.

I’ve spoken about postpartum psychosis because it’s part of the conversation happening around us. 

It is a serious medical emergency, but its lived experience is not mine to speak to.

What I can speak to is my own mental distress and intrusive thoughts, alongside years of advocacy and supporting families.

This is a personal opinion piece, not a clinical or medical perspective.